Best Friends
by Juniper11
Summary: She'd be there for him no matter what. Even if it wasn't how she wished. ShikaIno
1. Chapter 1

_**Best Friends**_

Why wouldn't he desire me? I'm beautiful. I'm smart and I'm available. We've been friends forever. It only makes sense that we'd end up together.

Well, It makes sense to me anyway but unfortunately that's not the way things were going to turn out. He wanted her. The wrong blond. What was it that he saw in her?

Sure, I guess she was strong. I won't begrudge her that but she's not…me.

* * *

He lay on the ground staring up at the clouds lost in his own world. I looked down at him with his messy hair and dark eyes and almost lost myself in him. At least I wanted to. I couldn't because that was the last thing he wanted. My eyes briefly clouded at the thought.

"It's nice outside." The inane comment slipped out causing him turn his head slowly towards me. He nodded briefly and I took that as an invitation to join him. I stretched out my body at his side and moved as close as I could without making it obvious that I wanted, _needed _to be beside him. "Any plans for today?" I asked curiously.

"No, just relaxing today."

We lapsed into a comfortable silence. I let my eyes slide closed and I just listened to him breathe. He made barely a sound and yet it was enough for peace to settled over me, because the only rest I got was when I was at his side.

"Get up lazy." That voice caused my eyes to snap open. I found myself staring into a pair of teal eyes that weren't the least bit friendly. I did the best I could to keep my anger in check--not for her sake, but for Shikamaru's.

"Temari, why don't you join us?" Temari's eyes flickered over to me then back to Shikamaru.

"No, you're taking me to get something to eat."

I heard Shikamaru mutter a troublesome woman but rose anyway. I realized then that Temari knew. She knew that I was in love with Shikamaru. We met eyes once more and I refused to be the first to look away. I had no intention of getting in between their relationship. I wanted Shikamaru to be happy and if he was happy with her then I was fine with that--mostly.

"You want to come Ino?" Shikamaru looked down at me and I couldn't help but meet those eyes of his.

"No, I think I'll stay here a while longer. You two have fun."

Shikamaru shrugged and Temari linked her arm through his. She glanced back at me and I smiled at her because truly what else could I do?

* * *

"I'm going to propose." He said one day as we were cloud watching. "I told Choji already. He's going to be my best man."

"That's wonderful Shikamaru." I put as much enthusiasm in my voice as I could muster. Still, he sensed something was off.

"Are you okay Ino?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure? You look a little pale."

"I'm good." I said quickly changing the subject. "So, how are you going to propose? This is a special moment for a girl. You have to make sure it's right." It was wrong of me to ask that question. Because truly I wanted to pretend for a moment...maybe two that it was me that had mangaed to snag his affection, that it was me that he was asking to spend a lifetime with. You can call it sick or maybe it even stalkerish. I simply call it 'taking what you can get'.

"Yeah, I know. Actually, I was hoping you could help me with that."

"Me?" I asked stunned.

"Yeah, you're a girl and all. Since women are the one thing I know the least about--"

I snorted. I knew it wasn't an arrogant comment. It just sounded that way. He was honestly serious and that was what made him utterly hopeless sometimes.

I love him so much.

"I was hoping you could help me."

I sighed really not wanting to get involved. It had 'bad idea' written all over it. "Shika, just be yourself. I'm sure she'll be happy no matter what you do."

He chuckled. "Are you serious? If I do this wrong she'll have my head. Help me Ino. I need you."

The pleading look he gave me tugged at my heart strings. Before I knew it, my mouth was open moving.

"I love you. I love you more than you could ever possibly know. The only time my heart has any peace is when I'm at your side. I guess that's why I don't want to spend a moment without you. You are my clouds and I could spend forever watching you."

Shikamaru's mouth opened and closed. He was obvioulsy surprised that I had any skill with words which annoyed me slightly. What he didn't know what I just said what I had always hoped he'd say to me.

"Ino, that was great. I never would have come up with anything like that!" He leaned over and placed a light kiss on my cheek. "I can take the rest from there."

He jumped up with more enthusiasm that I had ever seen in him and ran off missing the tears that started to slide down my cheeks, missing the heartache that he had left me in, missing my hand lightly resting on my cheek where his lips had touched.

* * *

I ran into Choji a few days later.

"Hey Choji!" I mustered up a smile for him but it slid off my face at his facial expression he wore as he headed towards me.

"Where have you been?" He demanded angrily.

"Why?" I asked puzzled as to why the normally gentle Choji would speak to me so harshly.

"What kind of friend are you anyway? He needs you and you've been avoiding him."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

I had holed myself up in my apartment because I didn't want anyone to see how miserable I was now that I knew that I was never going to have the chance with Shikamaru that I wanted. I hid because nothing gets to Ino Yamanaka. At least that what people thought and that's what I wanted them to believe.

"You mean, you don't know?" Choji asked truly puzzled.

"Know what?"

"She said no."

My brain registered the truth immediately. What was wrong with that woman? What reason could she have to possibly say no? Had it been her there was no way those words would have _ever _left her lips.

"Where is he?" I demanded.

"Where else?"

I took off running. The wind whipped through my hair and the whistled in my ear urging me to go faster, faster. Shikamaru needed me and I hadn't been there. I was too busy nursing my own wounds to even consider that things could possibly go wrong. It was something that wouldn't sit well with me for a long time.

A cigarette was dangling from his lips when I found him. He sat on the ground legs crossed, head tipped back slightly. The leaves rustled in the trees and broke free circling him briefly.

I watched him frozen in place. It was then that I realized maybe it wasn't a good thing to approach him right now, maybe he needed to be alone. It was something that I understood--the need for occasional solitude. I took a step backwards but that was when his head turned to me. He patted the ground at his side and slowly I moved forward to join him.

I settled myself on the ground at his side. A shifted awkwardly until he spoke.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked.

"Tell you what?" I turned towards him puzzled.

"How you feel?"

"How I…" My heart suddenly began to pound so hard I was afraid it would burst free from my chest. He couldn't have been asking what I thought. He didn't know. He couldn't know.

"I guess it was foolish of me. At first she said yes, to my proposal. She was thrilled, happy. She never thought that I could be that romantic. I told her you helped me with the proposal."

"Shika--" It was an incredibly foolish thing to do. I had assumed he would take full credit but I should have known better. He was always one to give credit where credit was due.

"Then she said no. She couldn't marry me. When I asked her why, she said because she could never love me the way you do."

I bit my bottom lip knowing that he wanted me to keep silent.

"She told me that you were in love with me and had been for quite some time. She told me why she never wanted you around. She thought that one day I would wake up and see what was right under my nose the whole time. She said she didn't want to be married to me when that day came."

He lapsed off into silence and I took this opportunity to speak.

"I never wanted to get in between you two. I only wanted you to be happy."

"I know Ino. I don't blame you."

Yet on some level I think he did. He loved her after all, and she had left him because of me.

"I think you do. It's okay if you do Shika. I understand."

I rose then and dusted the grass off my backside.

"Don't go." I hesitated. I shouldn't stay no matter how much I wanted to. A better person would leave him in peace. "I don't want to be alone."

I wasn't a better person.

So, I stayed at his side and comforted him as best as I could because he had lost the woman he loved and his best friend was the cause.


	2. Let me Speak

_**Chapter Two**_

_**Let me Speak**_

About six months had passed since they had broken up. I could tell just by looking in his eyes that he was tormented, and so was I. I hated to see him so distraught, but I didn't know what to do except to be there for him. That's what friends are for, right?

I found him sitting outside the home I had just purchased. The sky was a smoky gray, and rain poured from the heavens. It hit his body and hair, making his pony tail limp. His shirt stuck to his body revealing his slim physique and muscular torso. His hands were shoved into his pockets and his chin was raised towards the sky letting the water hit his face. His jounin jacket was missing. He normally always wore it. I wondered why today was any different.

"You're going to get sick." I said with a little sigh. I pulled out my keys and entered my home signaling him to follow me inside. He did so without a word. Normally, silence would disturb me, but lately trying to force conversation with Shikamaru was more…upsetting.

He stood in my doorway dripping all over my floor. His gaze was on a point behind me somewhere, not on me. I walked over to him and began unbuttoning his shirt. His hand snaked up and grabbed my wrist looking at me intently. I know what he thought I was doing and it made me blush a little but anger overrode the embarrassment.

"You're wet Shika. I'm not going to let you drip all over my house. You can either remove your clothes so I can get them dry, or you can leave. It's your choice."

He released my hand and mumbled an apology that I felt no need to respond to. I continued removing his shirt from his chest.

"Stay here. I'll bring you something to dry off with, and a robe. I'm going to need your pants too."

I left him alone after that. My heart was pounding fiercely. It wasn't the first time I had seen him without a shirt on. It was simply the first time since the end of his relationship that I had seen him topless. He was a single man alone with me in my home and the situation was bound to give me ideas. Ideas that I wouldn't bother to follow through with because even though he was single I still felt guilty.

I held his wet shirt up to my nose and noticed that it still smelled like him.

Cigarettes, grass, and the unattainable.

"Ino--"

He broke off as he saw me inhaling his shirt. I suddenly felt as foolish as I was sure I looked. I quickly pulled his shirt away from my face. I turned my back on him and prepared to wash his shirt.

"Yes?" I asked.

He didn't reply. I glanced over my shoulder to find him staring at me intently. He pulled out a cigarette and placed it to his lips. My eyes followed his every action. Shikamaru pulled out his lighter and lit up.

"I was going to ask you about that robe." He paused. "Now, I find the need to apologize."

Puzzled I turned around to face him. "About what?"

"I guess I've been wrapped up in my own issues that I failed to consider that me constantly being around could be a burden on you."

I waved my hand dismissing his comment. "You're not a burden Shikamaru. I'd tell you if you were."

He turned his head and blew a stream of smoke into the air.

"Would you?" He asked turning back and looking at me with those dark eyes of his.

"Where are you going with this Shikamaru?"

"It just seems to me that I haven't been a good friend to you."

"Where would you get that idea?" I walked past him and headed into my bedroom in order to grab the white fluffy robe he had given to me when I became a chunin. I grabbed it from where it hung in my closet and turned. I let out a startled squeak when I realized that he had been following me the entire time. "Will you stay in one place? You're dripping everywhere." I said irritated.

Another mumbled apology escaped from his lips. I shoved the robe into his hand and walked away leaving him to change into it.

I made my way to the kitchen with the intent to put as much distance between us as possible. Once inside, I grabbed my tea kettle and clutched it for a moment or two because I noticed that my hand was shaking. My emotions were running wild and I had to do something about it quickly before Shikamaru noticed. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths in order to steady myself. My eyes snapped open when I felt the kettle being removed from my hands.

"Ino."

All of a sudden it seemed as if he filled up the kitchen. There was no room for me, no air. He had already consumed my heart, and now it felt like he was trying to take up everything else. I quickly raised my hands to cover my face.

"Ino."

"Shika--" I said my voice muffled behind my hands.

"Let me speak Ino." I didn't want to and he knew it. I would never deny him though, and he knew that too. He pulled my hands away from my face drawing my gaze to his eyes. "I loved her. Actually, I think I'll always love her."

"Shika--"

"Let me speak Ino." Tears threatened to fill my eyes and I hated it. I hated when people saw me cry. I was the strong one. I bestowed that strength on all that I loved. I could not be seen as weak. "I've spent these last few months using you as my support system. You have been at my side unfailingly whenever I needed you, yet I failed to see just how much being at your side but not being _with _you was hurting you."

"Shika--"

"Let me speak Ino." The first tear rolled down my cheek and hit my shirt dampening it, preparing for the upcoming downpour. "You've made sure I eat properly. You let me into your home at all hours when I couldn't sleep because she wasn't there. You tolerate me walking around in your home soaking wet." He reached up and wiped away the next tear that fell from my eyes his lips quirking into a sad smile.

"In all this time that I've spent with you Temari's words kept replaying in my mind. There was a part of me that just didn't understand. Yes, I know how you feel about me, but what did that have to do with Temari and I?"

"Shika--" The desperate plea escaped from my lips but he cut me off once more, determined to have his say. My heart felt like it was bleeding. The life was draining out of me as I listened to him speak of the love he had for another woman.

"Let me speak Ino." He said softly. "It all finally clicked a few moments ago when I saw you with my shirt. She said she didn't want to be married to me when I finally saw what was under my nose the entire time. This whole time you've quietly supported me, quietly loved me. There has been a part of my brain that has acknowledged that the whole time. There has been a part of me that needed that love even while I was with Temari."

My chest was heaving up and down by this time. I could barely see him through the tears. I no longer tried to interrupt even though I was afraid and excited about where this was all leading.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I see you Ino." He reached out and pulled me close to him. I didn't fight him, but rather wrapped my arms around his waist as he held me securely. "I see you. I need you. I appreciate you. I love you Ino, not the way you want me to. It's still a little too soon for that, but if you give me time then I'll love you with all that I am because-" He lifted my chin and stared into my eyes. "At this moment I can't imagine doing anything else." He released my chin and I buried my head in his chest as he ran his hand up and down my back soothingly.

"But before all that Ino, I'm going to be a better friend to you. I'm going to be here for you because you need me, because you love me, because I don't ever want you to hurt like this again."


End file.
